Have you as a woman ever been judged for not being feminine enough? Or perhaps, you yourself have judged other women for not being feminine enough?
If you’ve experienced both, then you’re in a state of toxic femininity. Hmmm, so what exactly is toxic femininity? Check out the full explanation based on the Healthline page!
Definition Of Toxic Femininity
If you are familiar with the concept of toxic masculinity, then the concept is more or less the same as toxic femininity. According to a therapist, Meaghan Rice, toxic femininity is understood as a term to explain the condition when women are required to conform to traditional stereotypes.
Toxic femininity usually occurs unconsciously in an effort to be accepted in a patriarchal society. Examples of this are when you’re forced to have children because it’s considered your nature, or when you’re criticized for not meeting existing beauty standards (not being white enough, fat enough, or having a lot of hair on certain parts of your body).
In essence, this femininity will become toxic if you are forced to do these things to fulfill other people’s expectations and have to suppress your personal desires.
The Impact Of Toxic Femininity
According to Monica Vermani, a clinical psychologist, toxic femininity creates a rigid and “restrictive” concept of womanhood. Toxic femininity not only harms women, but also other genders because this concept indirectly sets expectations and burdens them.
The impacts of toxic femininity are:
- According to Saba Harouni Lurie, owner of Take Root Therapy, toxic femininity provides unrealistic beauty standards and can be the cause of body dysmorphia and eating disorders.
- Excessive stress as women are expected to meet expectations of family care, housework, and office work if they are employed
- Anxiety, depression and isolation
- Unable to set boundaries, avoid confrontation, and feel the need to please others
- May lead to dependency in the context of romantic relationships
How To Overcome Toxic Femininity
If this happens to you:
- Find out where these beliefs came from. Whether it’s from social media, parents, or friends, you can understand the origin of the concept of toxic femininity so that you don’t continue to be exposed to and believe in it.
- Find out the motivation for what you are doing. Do you feel like you’re being pressured to act like a woman? Or do you voluntarily want to do these things?
- Learn to validate yourself. Women often have to suppress their feelings or minimize their experiences to please men. Therefore, you can give yourself positive affirmations that your every feeling and action is valid.
- Create your own boundaries. You need to create boundaries with people who often demand you to fulfill their expectations. That way, you can respect yourself more.
If this happens to someone else:
- Talk to the person nicely. Instead of attacking them, engage in a discussion to understand their perspective on toxic femininity.
- Ask the person if what they are doing is in line with their interests. If you feel toxic femininity is affecting someone’s life, ask them if they really love what they do.
- Show your appreciation for them. Respect their choices and decisions, especially if they are not in line with gender expectations.
Hopefully, you can avoid all forms of toxic femininity in the future!
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