Have you ever noticed your own inner monologue? Sometimes the tone sounds positive like “I can do it!”, and sometimes it sounds negative like “I suck!”. Well, that’s what’s called self-talk or the inner voice.
Quoting Psychology Today, this self-talk comes from a combination of conscious thoughts and unconscious values or biases, so that the brain can interpret daily events.
Self-talk is actually harmless as long as it is done correctly and has a positive impact on yourself. It will be dangerous if negative self-talk is continuously believed until we feel inferior or end up harming ourselves.
So, what exactly is good self-talk? Here are 5 ways to develop self-talk as reported by Psych Central!
Listen To Critical Self-Criticism
According to Ethan Kross, PhD, leader of the Emotion & Self-Control Lab at the University of Michigan, self-talk will continuously appear and criticize when we are faced with stressful situations.
Therefore, when self-talk starts to lead to demeaning or blaming remarks, it is better to calm down for a moment and start thinking of ways to change the perspective of the self-talk that appears.
Use A Third-Person Point Of View When Talking To Yourself
According to Kross, using first-person pronouns such as, “Why did I make this mistake?” or “I should have done this…” will actually cause anxiety and shame in yourself.
Instead of speaking in the first person, use third person or name-calling when doing self-talk, such as “Why did you make this mistake?”, “I should have been like this…”
This is so that we can regulate our emotions rather than adding to them. In addition, we come to see the problem we are facing as a challenge, not a threat.
Develop The Conversation As Needed
When talking to yourself, adjust the context and the problem you are facing. According to research in the journal Psychology of Sport and Science, different types of self-talk will work in different contexts.
For example, when we need motivation, words like “You can do this”, “You can overcome all obstacles” will increase our confidence and strength.
Talk To Yourself Like A Friend
Negative self-talk will only make you feel more burdened. Talk to yourself with love like you would talk to a friend.
You can change your perspective through self-talk, for example from “You’re not good at this” to “Take it easy, you’ll be ready to do this”.
Say I Don’t Want To Instead Of I Can’t
Research by Vanessa Patrick, professor of marketing at the University of Houston, reveals that people who say “I don’t want to” are more likely to resist temptation longer than people who say “I can’t”.
The phrase “can’t” indicates a limitation or constraint. Conversely, “don’t want to” shows that you have control over your own thoughts and behaviors.
Here are some ways to develop good self-talk , Beauties. Which of these five tips have you tried?
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