When someone shares their concerns, there are two possibilities. Some people just want to be heard, while others need advice from people they trust.
If you often listen to your friends or loved ones vent, you can use this method to become more trained and skilled at listening to other people’s inner stories.
1. Pay Attention To Eye Contact And Gestures
Reporting from Heart Matters, eye contact is an important part of face to face conversations. Try to look at the other person’s face to show that you’re enthusiastically listening and paying attention to what they’re saying.
You can look into his eyes for a few seconds, then look into his mouth for a few seconds. This method is useful to not make you look intimidating by staring too long into her eyes.
Avoid body language such as crossing your arms or legs as it can make you ‘closed’ or defensive. Straighten up your sitting position to show that you are eager to listen to her story.
2. Don’t Cut The Talk
Cutting into other people’s conversations is rude and can upset people. This is because it gives the impression that you consider yourself more important and don’t have time to listen to their story.
Adjust to the speed of your interlocutor’s speech. Let him speak his way and understand what he is saying carefully.
3. Avoid Judgment And Jump to Conclusions
If you feel emotional while listening to the story, then stay focused on listening to the rest of the story until it’s finished. Don’t be too quick to judge him or conclude the events he tells.
4. Avoid Forbidden Gestures
Nod your head, smile, and make small sounds like “yes” and “oh”, to show that you are listening and encourage your friend to continue the story.
Avoid looking at the clock, or playing with your hair or nails. This can show that you are bored or not interested in your friend’s story.
5. Don’t Force Your Opinion
Just listening and providing support can sometimes be much more beneficial than telling someone what they should do after they’ve told you their story. If you’re not asked for a solution or opinion, let her figure out her own problems.
Even if you want to give her advice, you can ask her permission first. For example, by saying, “Would you like to hear my advice?”.
6. Stay Focused
If you find it difficult to focus on what someone is saying, try repeating the words in your head as they speak. This will help you concentrate. Avoid distractions like listening to the conversations of people around you and looking at your phone too much.
If there is something you don’t quite understand from the story, you can ask it with open-ended questions like, “How did you feel when you faced that?”, and so on.
7. Empathize With the Speaker
According to Future Learn, in listening to others we need to empathize and use emotional intelligence. Show that you understand the story and what they are feeling. Because, sometimes the person who is confiding in you just needs to be heard and understood.
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